it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
