just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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