Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
