i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
