I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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