it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
