i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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