I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
