Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
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His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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