who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
