If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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