We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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