the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
