sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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