her vagine was all disorganized.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
