I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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