You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
