I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
