We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
