Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
