it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
