Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
