I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
