My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
