I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
