We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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