are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
