why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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