How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
