Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I stole a fireplace last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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