Whats the glycemic index on semen?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize