Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
