Buhtt sex?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize