i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
