Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize