Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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