I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
