Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
