Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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