There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
