It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize