Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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