i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize