Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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