She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
