So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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