he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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