I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
