Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
