I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
