Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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