It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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