This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize