hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
